I spoke to the sister at the clinic today and we have set my start date for IVF#5 as 08 July. We will do the long protocol again as that is where I had a successful cycle and got a BFP for the first time. I was worried the genetic tests wouldn’t be back in time, but she felt they would. So as long as the tests come back ok then we start all over again.
It is always exciting to start another cycle, I have so much hope. This time is different though because I am anticipating a great deal of anxiety and reliving the great loss of the last pregnancy over again. So I am trying the best I can to prepare emotionally for the cycle, although I am not sure how well I am doing this.
If you take away all the emotions and anxiety, the biggest challenge for me is the logistics. As soon as I hit Day 1 (last saturday) I whip out the calendar and start calculating when retrieval and transfer will be, then look at my work schedule and start to pray it works out. I have a pretty hectic job with a lot of travel, so I try to prevent any travel at all if possible during IVF. Now if retrieval and transfer were my only scheduling challenges, that would be great…however I am a severe needle phobe. So I need to ensure that my husband is also around to give me the injections. I hate it because it really is a massive hassle trying to get out of work commitments, but I am getting better at not caring so much about work and focusing on IVF while we are in a cycle. It has really taken a toll on my work, but I figure my work output is twice of most the people in my office so I can slack a bit. I really wish I wasn’t so fearful of the injections. I am way way way better than our first two cycles, I had massive panic attacks everytime I had to have an injection. It was so difficult, especially for my husband who had to deal with me. Now I have a routine and am able to really focus on staying calm and relaxed, the best I can.
So here’s to IVF#5…may you be a smooth cycle, with no anxiety, produce amazing eggs and end in a glorious BFP that sticks around this time. Campai!