Biting my tongue – Don’t read if you take offense easily or are a bunny hugging type of gal

Firstly…I am feeling great and very positive about my cycle.  HPT next weekend cannot come soon enough.  I almost convinced myself that at 3dp3dt I should be able to get a positive HPT….whatever.  I will hold my breath a little longer.

I feel like I am going back to a previous blog entry I wrote, because some of these IVF forums are driving me nuts.  I used to find so much support and happiness there, but these days I find myself talking back to the screen….and not in a nice way.  There was a woman on one of the forums who very bravely pointed out that she was unhappy with the way people were throwing around luck and other simple positivity.  I have to say, I don’t mind when people wish me good luck, it doesn’t bother me.  I really appreciate that people are acknowledging me.  I have thought long and hard about this and I think I have figured out what bothers me, and I think it is the same as the woman who posted her unhappiness.

I joined a certain forum in 2008 or 2009…can’t remember.  I quickly realised that the more you post, the higher your membership indicator is.  You basically get to move up a ladder which defines you as a newbie or old hat.  I thought…cool…maybe one day I will be ‘uber’.  That was in 2008/2009.  I became an uber over two years of participating.  I posted when I truly had something to add.  I see women join and within 2 months, they have 700 posts!!  Do they eat, sleep, breath on the forum?  I realised that they were all over the place, posting little bits of nothing is every single room.  So I started getting really annoyed.  I moved pretty much exclusively to the VETS room, hoping that I would avoid some of the ‘dust’ and other nonsense.  But….they found me there too!  Is there no awareness that although we share a painful history….I just can’t relate to someone who is now pregnant after their first IVF….and now giving me advice and tips on my 5th cycle.  I don’t want to hear their little pearls of wisdom or how they used a specific vitamin during their one cycle.  Am I being nasty?  Yes, because this is my blog and I warned you not to read it if you are a bunny hugger.

Although….it is good that the forums are such friendly, cuddly places….ok, a bit of sarcasm.  I remember my first IVF when I first started on the forum and I had posted a question asking how long my heart would hurt.  Someone I cannot remember, and was most likely a VET, told me ‘forever, get used to it’.  I was devastated, I thought how could she write something so cruel.  Funny though…that is exactly what I would say to a newbie now.  Well, I wouldn’t write it on the forum, but I would say it to the screen.  So I will continue to bite my tongue.

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