Firstly…I am feeling great and very positive about my cycle. HPT next weekend cannot come soon enough. I almost convinced myself that at 3dp3dt I should be able to get a positive HPT….whatever. I will hold my breath a little longer.
I feel like I am going back to a previous blog entry I wrote, because some of these IVF forums are driving me nuts. I used to find so much support and happiness there, but these days I find myself talking back to the screen….and not in a nice way. There was a woman on one of the forums who very bravely pointed out that she was unhappy with the way people were throwing around luck and other simple positivity. I have to say, I don’t mind when people wish me good luck, it doesn’t bother me. I really appreciate that people are acknowledging me. I have thought long and hard about this and I think I have figured out what bothers me, and I think it is the same as the woman who posted her unhappiness.
I joined a certain forum in 2008 or 2009…can’t remember. I quickly realised that the more you post, the higher your membership indicator is. You basically get to move up a ladder which defines you as a newbie or old hat. I thought…cool…maybe one day I will be ‘uber’. That was in 2008/2009. I became an uber over two years of participating. I posted when I truly had something to add. I see women join and within 2 months, they have 700 posts!! Do they eat, sleep, breath on the forum? I realised that they were all over the place, posting little bits of nothing is every single room. So I started getting really annoyed. I moved pretty much exclusively to the VETS room, hoping that I would avoid some of the ‘dust’ and other nonsense. But….they found me there too! Is there no awareness that although we share a painful history….I just can’t relate to someone who is now pregnant after their first IVF….and now giving me advice and tips on my 5th cycle. I don’t want to hear their little pearls of wisdom or how they used a specific vitamin during their one cycle. Am I being nasty? Yes, because this is my blog and I warned you not to read it if you are a bunny hugger.
Although….it is good that the forums are such friendly, cuddly places….ok, a bit of sarcasm. I remember my first IVF when I first started on the forum and I had posted a question asking how long my heart would hurt. Someone I cannot remember, and was most likely a VET, told me ‘forever, get used to it’. I was devastated, I thought how could she write something so cruel. Funny though…that is exactly what I would say to a newbie now. Well, I wouldn’t write it on the forum, but I would say it to the screen. So I will continue to bite my tongue.