Beta hcg has dropped again, so officially over. DH and I are going to take a break, a vacation and are considering another run in November. We are obviously gutted…once again. However, we are grateful that it ended earlier rather than later. It feels different this time, because I am so early and am not bleeding yet. For those of you who have never had a miscarriage, I always thought it just passed and then you moved on. It is more physically traumatic the further along you are in the pregnancy, but regardless….a miscarriage goes on and on and on. I wish it was something that was over quickly.
So now I wait for my three beautiful little embies to exit my body. I’m so sorry my beautiful embies…I really thought I would be able to keep you this time. So sad.
In western lands beneath the Sun
The flowers may rise in Spring,
The trees may bud, the waters run,
The merry finches sing.
Or there maybe ’tis cloudless night,
And swaying branches bear
The Elven-stars as jewels white
Amid their branching hair.
Though here at journey’s end I lie
In darkness buried deep,
Beyond all towers strong and high,
Beyond all mountains steep,
Above all shadows rides the Sun
And Stars for ever dwell:
I will not say the Day is done,
Nor bid the Stars farewell.
John Ronald Reuel Tolkien