Life and death – different or the same?

DH just arrived home on Friday after being away on business for four weeks…it was so great to have him back home. However, I am now sitting at the airport waiting to fly out for two weeks! I can’t wait for the travelling to end, it has been hectic these last two months.

I am heading overseas for business for one week, then to my mother’s for an additional week. My aunt is in palliative care, so I am going home to say goodbye. So ironic…the last three years have been about creating life and now I have to say goodbye to a life well-lived. I know many of my fellow IF’ers have had to say goodbye to parents, family and friends during their IF journey. It is always a difficult event to walk through, but has me reflecting on the dichotomy of life and death.

Death is the end we all know is inevitable, but we all hope we have a long and fulfilling life. Also that the end is a peaceful transition. When you are ill, as my aunt is, you fight with everything you have to delay the inevitable. Sometimes even beating it. New life is a blessing, but with IF it is a miracle! The emotional journey through death and life for those of us who struggle with fertility actually has more similarities than differences. We mourn the loss of our fertile dreams and brave the challenge of fighting against all odds for our miracle. We go through the grief and loss cycle the same as mourning a loved one. We revel in the miracles of science the way those who are given an extension on life do.

I am not looking forward to saying goodbye to my beloved aunt. It will be hard and emotional. However IF has taught me to take challenge one day at a time…and sometimes one minute at a time. I will be grateful to have had this time to say goodbye to my aunt and tap into the strength I have built through my own many challenges.

Life is hard….it really is, but full of wondrous miracles that peep out every now and again. I will keep looking for the miracle in everything. Hope.


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