Facts of Life

I did a Clearblue digital HPT this morning and I am not pregnant. So sad….was very hopeful for this one. Had a little pity party with DH. I will do my blood test tomorrow…but we already know the result.

Now we move on to DE….I am going to be pushy with our FS if they disagree. We need to move on to something that has the best chance of a positive result. DH and I are tired now…four years, 6 IVF’s and I am 18 months away from 40. Time to kick it up a notch for our final run.

On the positive side….I got the job! Just waiting on the contract. An amazing opportunity and I am so grateful for it. So the universe is definitely trying to balance out the negative with the positive…..thank you universe! I also have my graduation for my Masters a week Friday…and now I get to celebrate with a glass of wine!

Life is hard. It just is. But when there are some positives amongst the negatives then it makes it a bit more bearable. I haven’t been able to get this tune out of my head for the last couple of days. I know it shows my age, but for those of you who know this tune I thought I would also inflict it on you.

I bring you the lyrics for the theme of Facts of Life! Sorry ladies….

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.
There’s a time you got to go and show
You’re growin’ now you know about
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.
When the world never seems
to be livin up to your dreams
And suddenly you’re finding out
the Facts of Life are all about you, you.
It takes a lot to get ’em right
When you’re learning the Facts of Life.

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5dp3dt – Hang in there little babies

So I am half way through my 2ww, although it is not really 2 weeks….so happy it is only 10 days. Feeling some light cramping and heaviness in my uterus which is giving me false hope because it could just be AF. I am staying positive though, thinking of my three little babies settling in for the long haul.

I know there are a few others testing on the same day, or close to the same day as me. It is so hard to be the BFN in a group of BFP’s. I know I have always found it hard and although I am genuinely happy for the BFP’s it is still a hard place to be. If you are the BFP, you are happy but feel so guilty because of the BFN’s. So I have decided I will only post my result on my blog. I just hate the mix of seeing congrats and sympathies, it is way too familiar and so difficult for me as I can imagine others as well. My blog is such a nicer place for me to truly express myself and I feel it is much more appropriate for me. I just want to be able to express myself and here is the only place I feel I can without that little voice in the back of my head editing my words and the way I phrase everything because I am more concerned about others than myself.

That being said I am holding thumbs that there are no BFN’s next week for anyone. Wouldn’t that be amazing if there was a magical week throughout the world that had no BFN’s! I am going to hope for that.