A perfect half dozen

halfdozen

So we learned today that we have a perfect half dozen embies! All six are looking really great and we will do a 5 day transfer on Tuesday. My first 5 day transfer….so exciting! The embryologist is so happy with the embies and both DH and I are thrilled. I still can’t believe this is all happening, it seems so surreal as we have never had this kind of success before. I would love to have some frosties as back up just in case this transfer is not successful. I will definitely put back 2, but I guess we have to see how the embies are doing by Tuesday.

So excited and now can’t wait to get home!

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Day 7 – it’s happening

So we are on Day 7 and I am on my way out of the country. I was by the clinic today and the scheduling looks good. I am not going to panic…it is what it is.

I am feeling ok, the estrogen is making me so tired and fuzzy, but not bad. Some headaches and a migraine a few weeks ago, but surviving. Although a donor cycle is strange and weird, it is surprisingly freeing! I can’t wait to find out how many eggs we get and then how many embies….we are thinking egg retrieval will be next Friday, about seven days from now. So it is just a waiting game until then.

DH and I are so excited. It just feels so real this time….like it could really happen! I hope I am not overly optimistic, but I SO optimistic! A nice feeling for once.

J’attends

J’attends…..mais c’est bien. The clinic has not yet told me if my donors Day 1 has arrived yet. Fortunately I am in the clear now anyways, as I will be back in the country for the transfer. Phew! That was a close one.

I am on 6mg of estrogen now, plus the Lucrin, so feeling pretty crappy and tired. I am actually at the airport right now and trying to stay awake. I can’t wait to get on the flight so I can close my eyes. I don’t have to work until tomorrow, so when I arrive I will check-in, have a bath and go to sleep.

I have to say, this cycle I feel so free! I can’t believe the freedom I have now that I can do my own Lucrin shots! I am still in awe of what I have been able to accomplish, as my needle phobia was crippling. Although I have only been using the tiny little monojects so it has been easy. The larger gauge needles still freak my freak.

This cycle is it. I can’t believe it….I just know in my bones this will work. Je crois…..je dois.

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Lucky and unlucky

So worst case scenario happened. My period came yesterday. So I complete freaked out and DH had to talk me off the ledge. Hmmmm, he’s been doing a lot of that lately. Sweet man. So he calmed me down enough to call the clinic and see if they could make a plan. Because we are doing a donor cycle, it is a bit more flexible, so they are going to delay the start of the donors cycle and I will stay in a holding pattern. Ahhhh….it is wonderful when science works to your advantage! I am breathing a huge sigh of relief! God bless my fertility team and their loads of patience! I am starting the estrogen tomorrow, which is not going to be fun. I have been giving my own Lucrin shots *proud smile*, so feeling pretty empowered.

On another note, my boss is still an a**hole and I am convinced he has paranoid personality disorder. But good news…..I have found another job. So will be changing jobs (again) at the end of the year. So I just need to grin and bear it for a few more months and keep focused on what is important.

I feel lucky and unlucky in the same week….must be some weird alignment of the planets 😉

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Hormone haze amidst planning chaos…and a jerk-face boss to boot!

migraine chick comics needles
I spent the morning in tears and have now picked myself up, dusted myself off and decided revenge is the only way forward 😉

So here is the back story. I was on estrogen after my septum removal – which was not fun – and now have been on progesterone for a week to balance out the estrogen – again not fun – so I have been in a hormone haze for the last month. What is even more concerning to me is that this is just the beginning. I start my Lucrin shots tommorrow, then will be put back on the estrogen. I am just waiting for Day 1 then IVF#7 starts.

I changed jobs at the beginning of the year, amazing work and I am getting some great experience. The challenge is my travel schedule…it is ridiculous. For those of you who have been down the IVF road, and have hectic careers, you know that the most stressful part is the scheduling. Now if I had a reasonable boss, I could probably explain this to them….but my boss is totally cray-cray and is the most irrational, unreasonable person. So not an option. I have done some creative scheduling and have been able to clear two weeks in early August so I am at least in the country when transfer is planned. I am out of the country from next week until October (flipping ridiculous). Needless to say I am looking for a new employer. I am actually home right now with a hormone migraine (thank you Primolut) and my boss wants a sick note. What a jerk-face. Well I’ll show him. I called the nurse and they are booking me off for the week, so suck on that jerk-face! If you had left it I would have come in tomorrow, but since you are such a jerk-face, I’ll take the week and sleep in late, do some shopping and go to the spa! Ha!

So back to my scheduling drama. As long as my period comes no sooner than this Sunday, my IVF schedule will work. The nurse and I planned it out and with me coming off the progesterone only tomorrow and starting the Lucrin, which also delays your cycle, our plan is totally reasonable. Retrieval and transfer should be the beginning of August. So I am not losing any sleep yet….just waiting. I have no plan B if my period starts earlier than Sunday. So I am praying that will not happen. I am actually praying a later period, Tuesday or Wednesday would give me a huge sigh of relief. However, these things are out of my hands and I am going to hope that luck is on my side.

So that is my scheduling drama for the transfer. However, my next trip is the third week of August, so my pregnancy test will happen while I am out of the country (argh!), so I am going to have to bring HPTs with me and won’t be able to get a proper blood test until I am back, which is the beginning of September. Not the ideal situtation, but unfortunately my reality at the moment. I am fortunately travelling with one of my BFFs and she is a medical doctor, so I am in good hands, and if I need a bit of extra rest she will make space for me. She will also have to give me those horrible progesterone butt shots…we’ll see how much of a BFF she is after that! Ha!

My my my….what a potential mess this could be. But I am going to believe that it will all work out, because feeling calm and positive is such a better place than anxious and negative. Ohhhmmmmmmmm……

Feedly feedly feedly all the way home

So i completely lost track of the day and found google reader shut down. So sad, like the end of an era.

I had my septum removal follow up appointment today and all is good. So I got the thumbs up to move forward with our next (count it 7th) IVF. We planned out the way forward and focused on timelines, as my job is hectic with travel, so I need to ensure I am in town. I start Lucrin on 09 July and then wait for my period. We are estimating retrieval the end of the month and transfer the beginning of August.

So the ball is rolling…..again, finally. It is all a rather strange process this time as we are using donor eggs. I have so much riding on these little eggs. I really hope this is it. I am officially off coffee and wine, back on the folic acid and starting back into more regular meditation in the morning.

I am so disappointed in myself as my blog has really gone downhill, but hoping it will pick up some speed now. I really have become unemotional and detached from my infertility struggles. A long, cold war will do that to you.

On another note… I have two things to announce. Welcome AppleTV to my house! RIP google reader….hello feedly. Although feedly is crashing with all the people switching over today.

Geek it out.

Adios, au revoir, vaarwel, beannacht, kwaheri septum!

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I had my septum removed about a week ago. Turns out it was a lot larger at the base, so we are really pleased that our FS decided to remove it, as he initially thought it was rather small. I am now on 4mg estrogen for 30 days and have my follow-up the beginning of July. I keep thinking ‘hmmm maybe the septum was the cause of my infertility’ but I have to stop thinking ‘what if’. The wheels are already in motion. We have had such a bumpy road, with too much sadness and loss. We have come too far to start looking backward and second guessing ourselves. I have played this mental game too many times to know better…but it is only human to think ‘what if’.

So once I have my follow-up appointment I guess the ball will start rolling. Our donor had her initial appointment with our FS this past week, so I guess I will hear from them this week regarding next steps. DH and I were chatting yesterday about the possibility of snow babies. We have never had that option and with a donor, it is a real possibility. That is so exciting to think that we could have some embies on ice…..talk about frozen hope!

So all good, we are hanging in there and hoping all goes smoothly and quickly.