DH and I sat waiting so patiently to see the FS today. We hadn’t been back to see him since our last cycle ended with a very short lived BFP in August. We had prepared ourselves for the possibility of DE, we had also prepared ourselves for the possibility of walking away without a clear plan. IF is not a simple recipe, or easy intervention. It is a gamble in so many ways.
So we went through out entire history with our FS. We spoke about my eggs and although I have never produced very many, our FS is happy with the quality. DH has very few good sperm, but because we do ICSI that removes the male factor. Also we have always had a fairly high fertilisation rate, which again supports the fact that my eggs are decent and DH’s sperm are as well. Our FS then explained that because we have achieved implantation twice, although unsuccessful, the fact that we had some BFP’s is a good sign….however it makes offering another option a little more difficult. There are many reasons for miscarriage, and we have already ruled out chromosomal challenges through genetic testing as well as clotting abnormalities. My uterus is in good shape, and my endometriosis is not interfering. The only other factor that could be playing a role is an immunological challenge, that Intralipid could take care of….partially. We spoke about DE and if we had never had a positive result, or our embies were poor, then that would be the obvious next step. Because our embies are good and we have had implantation…..DE may not be the solution right now. If there is an immunological problem, I may never carry, I may continue to miscarry….but we don’t know that for sure. We could go with DE, and that would improve our embies, but if the problem is not the embies, we are not really any better off.
So my dear IVF friends…..what to do? Our FS said that he wished he had an easy answer for us, but it is not an easy situation. He did suggest Clexhane to thin my blood and do Intralipids a week before transfer, so there are some minor changes we can make. Although our FS was clear, there is little scientific evidence for this and he is going on his gut feeling based on other cases he has had that are similar to us. This is a big shift for our FS, because he doesn’t usually go with his gut, he goes with science. This tells me he is really grasping for options for us. I can’t decide if that is good or bad.
DH and I have had a long chat and feel we need to give our embies another shot. I am still 37 and as long as my embies are holding up….we think we should keep trying. I just don’t know how long I will hold up. So we are back on our same path…..long protocol IVF ICSI with Intralipids and maybe Clexhane this time around. Maybe December, maybe January….we’ll see. I wish it were all more definite and easier…..but it is not. So we have a few months to get ourselves into the best shape we can to give the next round every chance for success. I can’t believe we are headed for round number six! It blows my mind (and my bank account) that we are where we are. It will happen…it will just take more time unfortunately.
But as of now…I am on holiday. One last hurrah before we start focusing on getting ready for our next cycle.