And…we are off

So I finally got my period last week…hurray!  Our donor started hers yesterday, so stims start tomorrow.  So far, so good.

I am surviving on the Lucrin and Progynova although I am feeling very weepy these days.  It doesn’t take much to make me cry these days…silly hormones.

So all is good for now, will let you know when ER is planned.

The scheduling drama…with a twist

So we had planned for September, but the scheduling just didn’t work out between the donor, myself and my husband’s work schedule.  So we have settled on end of October, early November and we were all happy with that.  Then…my cycle decided to give us grief.

My last period was 07 August.  I went on BCPs at that time and then they pulled me off them when our September cycle was not likely to happen because of our schedules.  And….no period.  Still no period!  I went back to my FS 2 weeks ago and he put me on Primolut for 7 days and told me to start the Lucrin shots – which means I will be on Lucrin for at least 30 days – which is causing much more damage to my bank account than my body at the moment, this stuff is expensive!  So I am 7 days post Primolut and from what I read my period should come within 5-8 days, although the Lucrin will most likely contribute to postponing my period a bit more.  As long as I have a period by 15 October than our schedule should still be on track.

All that being said…..not having a period sucks!  It is like having permanent PMS.  I have been bloated and miserable for a full two months now.  My poor DH…he is just about ready to drive to the nearest hotel and check himself in for the remainder of this cycle.  I am trying really hard to be gentle, but not easy.  So now all the scheduling drama and side effects from the meds and all the other unpleasantry’s of IVF are flooding back.  How soon we forget….anyways, hopefully we are in the final countdown and I hope we have a happy story at the end.

Now the twist….

We are planning on moving back to my home country in August 2016.  If all goes well….as there are a lot of pieces that have to fall into place first…then that is what our plan is.  However, if this cycle is successful, it means I will be due the end of July 2016.  So I am trying hard not to think about a relocation with a toddler and a newborn half-way across the world.  Also, potentially giving up our jobs (although I am hoping for a transfer) and showing up with a toddler, a newborn….and no jobs!  So I am trying hard not to focus on all of that, as it is not currently our reality.  So many things can happen between now and then, and if it does become our reality, than we will deal with it then.

First priority – have a period.

J’attends

J’attends…..mais c’est bien. The clinic has not yet told me if my donors Day 1 has arrived yet. Fortunately I am in the clear now anyways, as I will be back in the country for the transfer. Phew! That was a close one.

I am on 6mg of estrogen now, plus the Lucrin, so feeling pretty crappy and tired. I am actually at the airport right now and trying to stay awake. I can’t wait to get on the flight so I can close my eyes. I don’t have to work until tomorrow, so when I arrive I will check-in, have a bath and go to sleep.

I have to say, this cycle I feel so free! I can’t believe the freedom I have now that I can do my own Lucrin shots! I am still in awe of what I have been able to accomplish, as my needle phobia was crippling. Although I have only been using the tiny little monojects so it has been easy. The larger gauge needles still freak my freak.

This cycle is it. I can’t believe it….I just know in my bones this will work. Je crois…..je dois.

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Lucky and unlucky

So worst case scenario happened. My period came yesterday. So I complete freaked out and DH had to talk me off the ledge. Hmmmm, he’s been doing a lot of that lately. Sweet man. So he calmed me down enough to call the clinic and see if they could make a plan. Because we are doing a donor cycle, it is a bit more flexible, so they are going to delay the start of the donors cycle and I will stay in a holding pattern. Ahhhh….it is wonderful when science works to your advantage! I am breathing a huge sigh of relief! God bless my fertility team and their loads of patience! I am starting the estrogen tomorrow, which is not going to be fun. I have been giving my own Lucrin shots *proud smile*, so feeling pretty empowered.

On another note, my boss is still an a**hole and I am convinced he has paranoid personality disorder. But good news…..I have found another job. So will be changing jobs (again) at the end of the year. So I just need to grin and bear it for a few more months and keep focused on what is important.

I feel lucky and unlucky in the same week….must be some weird alignment of the planets 😉

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Who would have thunk it!

I started my Lucrin injections on Tuesday and…..drum roll….I did two of the injections myself! For those of you who have followed me from early days, you will know I have severe needle phobia! I never believed this day would come! As I am traveling so much, I had to be able to do it myself, so just had to suck it up, with the wonderful support of my DH cheering me on. The first one was a little crazy, I ended up poking myself a few times before I actually pushed it in. Luckily I am only doing Lucrin and they use those tiny little monoject needles, so I am managing. I couldn’t manage a larger gauge needle. So I am feeling confident about traveling and doing my own injections now….although I will let DH do it when I am not traveling, because it is SO much nicer when he does it. My goodness, after five years if shots I can’t believe I did one myself. Amazing.

On another note, I am back to work today and will try not to stab my boss in the eye. I have a meeting on Friday about another job, so hopefully it will come through. I will let you know. Also, no Day 1 yet (yeah!)….need to make it to Sunday. Come on Aunt Flo….be late, Lucrin do your work!

Hail Mary Pass

So I had my Day 3 (on Day 2) scan this morning. My FS gave me some bad news. My AMH is 0.4….which can be expected as I am 38, so you would expect to see it dropping. I had a 1.3 last year, so was surprised it went down so fast. but not unexpected. My Antral Follicle Count (AFC) was 5, which is also quite low. The conversation was rather positive than negative. We have decided to go ahead with the cycle as both AMH and AFC are indicators of ovarian reserve, but not absolutes. We need to see how my follicles stimulate and the quality of the eggs I produce. My FS is optimistic as I have always been a good responder to stimulation. We have never had more than three embryos so I am used to low numbers. The FS also said that as I have been pregnant with my own eggs (although baba only stuck around until week 7), this is also an indicator that we should keep moving forward.

We are going to stimulate hard with a mix of Menopur and Fostimon, which is a first for me. In older ladies (like me and my gray hairs) the lower acidity of the added Fostimon is supposed to work a bit better. We shall see. However, the FS and I spoke a lot about what this means. It basically means this will be my last shot with my own eggs. DH and I were ready to do donor eggs last year, so not too much of a surprise or adjustment for us. So I am moving forward and hoping for the best. I just want to get to retrieval, which says I can produce eggs. That will be step one, then I will worry about getting to transfer. If we do get to transfer, we will do Intralipids immediately after transfer, which is also a first. I only did them before once I was pregnant. We are also going to do Clexhane at transfer as well, so hopefully that will also assist.


All guns in. Last attempt with my own. Hoping for the best…but not the end of the road. DE is definitely on the cards. Feeling optimistic….but don’t really have a choice now, do I ? Ladies please send me all your happy-love-juju-positive-light-energy-peace-hope-vibe….praying that this is my ‘Hail Mary’ pass.

Day 1…and hopefully the last

AF finally reared her ugly head. That is the challenge with Lucrin, it delays AF. So I am officially on Day 1. I am actually going in for my scan tomorrow instead of Day 3. I am curious to find out what my FS has up his sleeve.

The Lucrin usually doesn’t give me any problems, but this time around I have had migraines for the last four days. I was so happy for AF today and dropping to 10 cc’s of Lucrin, as the migraines have subsided. I have been drinking a tonne of water which also helps. For me sleep and Myprodols are the only things that actually help my migraines. I was surprised Lucrin gave me side effects, as it is usually the Menopur that kills me. Hopefully this is not foreshadowing of more side effects to come.

So we shall see what happens…I hope this is the end of our road.