Little Sammy is home! We had our first night with him and it was wonderful….wonderfully exhausting, but wonderful. So nice to be home and be able to lounge about, but my favourite part is no more pumping, at least for now. The night went well, DH would change him and then hand him to me to feed. Sammy had one explosive poop sans diaper, but that was the only drama.

I had my stitches taken out yesterday and my scar is healing nicely. I do have a strange fine rash on my arms and shoulders, but it is tolerable. If is is still around on Monday they will send me to a dermatologist who specializes in pregnancy and post-partum.

I also had a call today with a potential job offer, so that is exciting as I need another contract to keep us afloat past July, so that call was a great blessing to ease my mind a bit. DH also applied for another job, and I think he has a good shot at it. If he got that job….that would be amazing and really help me not worry about chasing new contracts.

But for now my life is eat, sleep, poop and I am okay with that. It is a wonderful bonding time for our new little family. I have to say, I have the best DH in the world. He has been so patient, so kind, so loving…just so available and ready to jump in. He brings me tea and makes me sandwiches. He tells me I am beautiful and how he loves me. He let’s me whine and cry and feel unsteady as my hormones are still quite wobbly. He is amazing, an amazing husband and as amazing daddy and I could not have done this without him.

I now also have to decide what to do with my blog. I had no intention of continuing once Sammy was born. This blog has been an amazing space of solace and reflection for me on our infertility journey. But like so many others who have been successful and had their babies, the purpose of the blog also changes. I do have a few infertility related posts I would still like to do, but I will reflect on this and decide what to do.

But for now my dear ladies, I am being summoned to change a dirty diaper and offer some boob therapy :). Life is good!



4 days old

So Sammy is 4 days old now! I can’t believe it. I was discharged last night but Sammy will remain in the NICU until they can wean him off the oxygen, which might take a while…my little druggie ;).

Sammy is a big boy to be in the NICU. I feel like he is a bit out of place amongst all the Benjamin Buttons. I feel so bad because Sammy looks so amazing compared to the other babies here. I guess I should count my blessings. I am actually so happy to be here. It is only 10 minutes from our house and the nurses are so amazing. It is like being in baby university! They have taught us so much and are building our confidence.

He is feeding nicely. My milk is in and so I pump at night and breastfeed when at the NICU. Sammy has a bit if jaundice so they are putting him under the UV for a bit, but check out his glasses, they are way too cute!


God has heard

Early Wednesday morning, around 0200, I awoke suddenly to find my bed wet and my cat extremely confused. My water had broken…but I didn’t realize this at first, I thought I had pee’d myself. It didn’t smell like urine, so I went to the loo, came back to bed and thought I would lay down for another 20-30 min to see what would happen. My cat jumped back into bed and when I gave her a pat, I realized she was wet as well…she must have been sleeping tucked behind my knees! (DH and I are still laughing about this!) Anyways, 20 minutes later I stood up and started leaking a lot. Yes, my water had broken! DH and I called the labour ward and they said to make our way there. On Wednesday I was 35 weeks, 6 days…not quite 36 weeks, but almost.

I jumped in the shower and realized I had all the hospital things I needed, but I didn’t have the hospital bag packed yet. I also hadn’t washed the baby clothes! But I figured we would probably get sent home again if they could intervene as I was still a bit early. So DH and I decided to throw what we could in a bag and just keep it in the car.

We arrived at the labour ward and they checked me out. My membrane had ruptured, but my contractions were really small. They called my Dr and he said they would most likely proceed with delivery. OMG….this baby was coming! DH and I were excited, overwhelmed, confused and in a bit in shock all at the same time!

About 0700 the Dr arrived and did an internal and my cervix was hard and closed….so he gave me another 5 hours to see how I would progress. When he returned, nothing had progressed, I still had mild contractions and my cervix was closed. As my membranes had already ruptured several hours prior, time was now ticking and we needed to make some decisions as the risk of infection would grow as time passed. As I was not progressing and natural progression could take an additional 24 hours, we basically had two options, we could be induced to help labour along or have a Caesarian. We discussed the induction option, but this would take another 7-8 hours before I may possibly be fully dilated…but that was not a guarantee. The chances of me being induced and then having to have an emergency Caesarian were high. So given the risk of infection and the high chance I would end up in an emergency Caesarian, we opted for the Caesarian.

Wow….a Caesar is not a pleasant experience! My blood pressure dropped quite low from the anaesthetic and I felt horrible! I will not give you all the gory details, but it was a very unpleasant experience. However, the anesthesiologist was amazing and he talked me through everything and worked very hard to make me as comfortable as possible. DH was with me the entire time and giving me tonnes of support. I was glad when my blood pressure returned a bit and just glad that whole experience is over. I know we made the right decision by having a Caesar, but that is not a nice way to welcome a little soul into the world….but it is over and we all pulled through fine.

So on 26 March at 14h07, our precious little Samuel arrived at 35 weeks, 6 days weighing 3.2kgs! He is a big boy and would have definitely been over 4kgs if he had gone full term. He immediately started to scream and cry and let us know he was here!


They wheeled me to recovery, brought little Sammy to me and he latched immediately! So proud of him! I was so nervous he wouldn’t latch, especially now as he was a little early. So now I am finally a Mama! It is so unbelievable, DH and I are in awe and in love and are just trying to get to know this little man.

Even though he has a good weight and looks like a full term baby, he still has some preemie challenges. So he has been in the NICU since Wednesday. He has patent ductus arteriosis (PDA), a common heart challenge of preemies, but can be sorted out with some drug therapy. This is causing him some respiratory difficulties, so he is also getting some extra oxygen to help him along. He has a minor lung infection so is also on antibiotics. He is in great hands, but it is difficult not having him with us. We can go see him anytime, and I am able to breastfeed him in the NICU. He latches well and is feeding nicely….this makes me so happy! I am expressing manually in between to give to the NICU nurse to top him up. My milk should come in tomorrow I hope. I love breastfeeding…It is such a special moment for me. I think it means so much because he is in NICU so there is little I can do for him, but I can feed him! We are hoping he will be released to us soon.

In between all of this we had an army over at the house frantically washing baby clothes, setting up the cot and cleaning the house ready for our return home on Saturday. We have the best friends and neighbours ever!

I can’t believe little Samuel is here. His name is so special to us, it means ‘God has heard’. After our long road to pregnancy and now having him in our arms….God has heard. I would not call myself a religious person, but both DH and I are very spiritual and are so grateful that our hopes and dreams of being parents has come true. We have been heard, and the universe has once again proven to me that although life is full of imbalances between positive and negative in the short-term, the long-term always balances out evenly.

Thank you to everyone for their support and encouragement. Once we get home and settled I will post another update. For now I am going to get a bit of sleep xoxo