Refusing to push pause

Last year was rough on DH and I. After our last miscarriage I started to feel like maybe I can’t have it all. Maybe career and family are not both possible. I started thinking of how I could downscale my job and make more time for focusing on family. IVF is very stressful. The scheduling, the anxiety, the hoping, the excitement, the hormones, the failure, the grief, the exhaustion. In an ideal world I would be independently wealthy and…..well you know, we’ve all dreamt of this scenario.

So today everything was thrown out the window. I was offered a job. A big job. An exciting job. The kind of offer you don’t turn down…….

DH and I talked about what this new job could mean for our family plans. It could present further scheduling challenges and increased stress. But at the end of the day, what do you do? Wait and watch life pass you by? DH and I both agreed that we cannot push pause and wait for IVF to work. Life has to move on and we cannot make decisions based on ‘what if?’.

We will still plan for our June/July IVF. I don’t want to hit pause anymore. DH and I are going to push play. Screw you infertility…we win this round.