No plans for now

I have been meaning to post for so long, but everytime I start I realise I have nothing to say. I am truly on a little break from infertility. I haven’t had a follow-up visit with our FS since our last failed IVF….we have no plan for the way forward.

Follow-up and next steps…

I did my blood test yesterday, more as a formality as I already knew the result. When the sister called with the result we chatted about next steps. DH and I have been ready to do DE since last year. I asked the sister what her opinion was and was so happy to receive her personal opinion…..of course she did the professional and dutiful thing to refer me back to the FS….but I really appreciated her personal opinion.

We talked a lot about the emotional toll that multiple IVF’s take and of course my age. The sister agrees that DE is our next step. DH and I have often spoken about getting another opinion, or trying another FS, but the benefits of our FS are that his office is close to both my home and work. IVF is a constant back and forth to the FS office, so having it close is just so incredibly convenient. The other benefit is that his team are an amazing support system for me and I couldn’t do any of it without them holding my hand. Of course most importantly is the competence of my FS. I trust him, he is conservative when he needs to be, honest and is willing to try anything within reason, but makes decisions based on science and not trend.

So I will make a follow-up appointment with the FS and get him on board with our DE plans. He did bring it up as a next steps option when we started this last round and my AMH was so low, so I don’t think it will be a hard sell. So, the journey continues…

The new year – always a slow sloth-like start!

Well Happy Happy Happy New Year to everyone! May this be an amazing year of great success and good fortune for all of you.

DH and I had a very low-key holiday season for a change and did a lot of reading, watching movies and other general sloth-like behaviour. It was great! We spent lots of time with our furbabies and they really helped pull me our of my Christmas ‘funk’….as they too often do. What would I do without them?
If you are looking for a little escapism, DH and I read all three of ‘The Hunger Games’ books over Christmas and loved every second of it. I know they are busy with the movies and they better not ruin the books…although I hear Lenny Kravitz is playing Cinna, and everyone loves Lenny!

DH and I are unsure of our next IVF. I thought January, but I am just not in that headspace yet. I will most likely do a long protocol again. The last two cycles were our most successful and they were both with long protocol. I am very uncomfortable playing around with our protocol at this stage.

So I am back at work…blech! Why can’t we go back to pioneer days when we all sowed crops and tilled the fields. It sounds so much more interesting and self-sustaining. I guess that would mean our sloth-like tendencies would have to go. Shame….I enjoy a little sloth now and again. Work is dragging as I am trying to pick up my feet and get back into the rythym of actually thinking clearly. Lucky me, I landed back and the first thing they asked me was to put together some statistical reporting…..blech! How dare they ask in January of all months. Don’t they know my mind is like molasses at the moment. Oh well, maybe it will pull some of the cobwebs from my very sleepy head.

Hope you enjoy a picture of one of my furbabies being a sloth. Mind you a very very cute one!

Fragile for 2012

Another year is coming to an end. I am happy to say goodbye to 2011, as it has been a very difficult year for DH and I. I have lots of hope for 2012, but this year has changed us. The first miscarriage was early in the pregnancy, and I am so grateful for that…but it still hurts. Even nine months later, I still have sad moments thinking about what could have been. The second miscarriage was even earlier, so I didn’t need a D&C…thank goodness. I never want to have to go through a D&C again.

My hope is that 2012 will bring us our miracle. We have suffered enough…I could not bear another miscarriage. I am so scared I would completely crack if I had another one. For the first time I am genuinely scared for the next IVF. Number 6….please go easy on me. I may be a little too fragile for a January start.

IVF 6 = early January….possibly

I have been travelling so much for work lately. Once again I am on the road. I will be flying home tonight for four glorious sleeps in my own bed before I fly again for a two week stint. DH has been away for business for the last four weeks and arrives home Friday….I can’t wait! It has been a hectic last two months and I can’t wait for the holidays. DH and I have decided not to go away for the holidays, we are going to relax at home and celebrate with our furbabies.

I am really looking forward to starting another cycle. We will most likely do a long protocol, so that means a start date around the second week of January….boy, that is really soon! I was hoping to lose a few kgs before that, I will have to be strong during the holidays!

Hope……Hope……Hope

Thinking of next cycle

A few of my fellow blogging gal pals who are still without baby (and we are a dwindling few in my circle I follow) have recently started talking about another cycle. It really has me thinking when I want to start again. I haven’t actually thought about it at all until now. The last two cycles were just way too much heartache. I knew I would do it again, but really didn’t commit myself to any timeline. I always know I am getting ready for another cycle when I start looking at my bank account.

So looks like end of Jan, if AF cooperates. I can’t believe I am almost here again. It feels ok though…I’m ready to try again.