Bubble boy deflection

20131015-065230.jpg
Well the saga continues, my boss has decided to make the next two weeks very difficult. I am getting a lot of support from my colleagues and friends who are just as dumbfounded about this whole situation….although those who know my boss are actually not that surprised.

So I am trying to stay focused on the high road and not letting him drag me down to his level. I have a scan on Friday and can’t wait as I am so nervous all this stress is not good for baba. Once I see everything is fine…I think I will breathe easier.

In your quiet, calm, relaxed, happy for life moments….send me a bit of that beautiful energy. I need a strong barrier against the negativity that is being hurled at me at the moment. I keep picturing bubble boy! Ha ha!

Advertisements

I hope karma exists

20131012-080309.jpg
So today I was laid-off of my job. I have three weeks, no severance, no nothing. I hate my boss and he is a super-asshole who probably has a lot of bad karma coming back in his direction. I hadn’t planned on renewing my contract at the end of the year…but never thought he would be so heartless to lay-off a pregnant lady right before Christmas. Some people….I am not sure how they sleep at night.

So I am in a bit of shock. I will be ok, I already have some potential work for 2014….but nothing in writing yet. I am sure this is all for the best…but hard to not feel blind sided and anxious at the moment.

I need to go home and have a good cry with hubby then let it go. Hopefully baba is nice and chill and not feeling my stress.

My shadow

20130911-143738.jpg

Exhausted! That just about sums it up. I am in bed by 730 most nights and by 200 in the afternoon I am severely in need of a nap! I seem to have gotten a handle on the nausea. It is still there, but I think I have gotten used to it, and as long as I keep something in my stomach then it is bearable. I think I have eaten my weight in Marie biscuits! I am totally off meat…I just can’t do it.

My cat has become my shadow. If I am sitting, she is on me. If I am laying down, she is on me. If I go into the kitchen, she follows. When I have a shower she sits in the bathroom staring at me. She has become quite the perve. My dog does a lot if sniffing but nothing else out of the ordinary.

I thought I would be ok with a two week wait until the next scan, but I am dying to get to the next one…which is still nine sleeps away! I have some low grade anxiety, but I am really trying hard not to think negatively when there is no reason to. I have not had any bleeding (knock on wood) or anything else abnormal…so I must stay positive.

8 weeks tomorrow….

Four more sleeps

I am so happy to report that I have had no bleeding since last Thursday. Now I have three more sleeps until I go home (yippee!) and four more sleeps until my first scan (double yippee!).

I am starting to dream that this may all be true….someone pinch me!

As far as symptoms, my boobs are sore but not crazy sore. I am tired but not sure if it is just the long work hours. I also am having increasing nausea. My appetite is gone. I hope it doesn’t get worse than this. I also have a runny tummy every morning. But honestly….it’s manageable. I am living on toast, ginger ale and crackers.

Again….is this for real? Someone pinch me!

Must stay in reality!

I had some blood today….red and some clotting, but i think the clots were just from the blood, not tissue. Still scary, it is so not nice. When i really thought about it, It was not a lot of blood, but more than spotting. It seems to have gone back to brown, which is such a beautiful sight to me. Sorry ladies for the TMI, but you know how it is. I am taking it slow and resting as much as I can. I sent a message to the clinic sister, although I know there is not much they can do. I did up my Cyclogest by one, so hoping that might help.

Now I need to relax and pray I don’t get anymore red blood. I need to make it home for my scan….then at least we will know for sure. The blood makes me so nervous, although I know it might not mean anything much. I still had a little breakdown today. I just don’t know if I can do this again…I need this to be ok. I am skyping with DH in 20 min and need to be calm as I can’t freak him out. Not until there is something to freak out about. Must stay in reality!

5w6d – Something is going on

First of all, I am good and all is well so far. Yesterday I started getting really crampy and started to feel like something is definitely going on in my uterus. I even woke up in the night from the cramping, but it is not severe, just annoying. I think I have gotten a handle on the bloating by drinking more water and eating a little less. I am getting little waves of nausea, but manageable. I am having some spotting….brown…so praying hard hard hard that it remains this way. I think I am having a little post traumatic anxiety from the spotting. It just makes me think of the miscarriage and how horrible that was. But that was in the past, that does not mean it will happen again. I am trying really hard to remind myself that spotting is normal and is not an indication of anything wrong.

I think I spoke too soon in my previous post, the anxiety is starting to come. Although it is mild and I can usually talk myself off the ledge, I think being away from home and from DH makes it more difficult to stay focused. I keep telling myself that even if I get some red blood that can be normal too…just to calm myself. As long as it is not a lot of blood. I need to stay positive! Only nine more sleeps until my scan! Come on baby…hang in there. I can’t wait for the scan!!!

Pinching myself

So my second beta is in…..100.8! More than double! So so so happy and a huge sigh of relief. Just about to head in for another intralipid. DH and I are then off for a weekend away before I head out of the country again for work.

I’ll be out of the country for three weeks, so if my little vampire hangs in for the next while, then will have my first scan the day I get back. I will be 7 weeks by then, so next step is heartbeat!

I’m feeling good, a little tired, sneezy and runny nose and a crampy uterus. But minor really. So far…..