And the waiting begins…

I am exhausted and my head feels like it is going to explode already! The progesterone always gives me horrible headaches. Yesterday it was on the left side of my head, today the right. So I am hoping it is evening out. I am taking it easy at home, just working on a report that is not moving along as quickly as I would like, but hoping tomorrow is more productive. I am on three Cyclogest and three Progynova a day….so I am pleasantly pickled in hormones at the moment.

My uterus is twingey, but I think that is also the progesterone. I bought all my HPTs yesterday, so I am ready to see those beautiful pink lines! I have been trying to meditate, but I keep falling asleep…so I guess that is what my body needs.

Anyways, the waiting continues. Seven more sleeps until I test!

Hormone haze amidst planning chaos…and a jerk-face boss to boot!

migraine chick comics needles
I spent the morning in tears and have now picked myself up, dusted myself off and decided revenge is the only way forward 😉

So here is the back story. I was on estrogen after my septum removal – which was not fun – and now have been on progesterone for a week to balance out the estrogen – again not fun – so I have been in a hormone haze for the last month. What is even more concerning to me is that this is just the beginning. I start my Lucrin shots tommorrow, then will be put back on the estrogen. I am just waiting for Day 1 then IVF#7 starts.

I changed jobs at the beginning of the year, amazing work and I am getting some great experience. The challenge is my travel schedule…it is ridiculous. For those of you who have been down the IVF road, and have hectic careers, you know that the most stressful part is the scheduling. Now if I had a reasonable boss, I could probably explain this to them….but my boss is totally cray-cray and is the most irrational, unreasonable person. So not an option. I have done some creative scheduling and have been able to clear two weeks in early August so I am at least in the country when transfer is planned. I am out of the country from next week until October (flipping ridiculous). Needless to say I am looking for a new employer. I am actually home right now with a hormone migraine (thank you Primolut) and my boss wants a sick note. What a jerk-face. Well I’ll show him. I called the nurse and they are booking me off for the week, so suck on that jerk-face! If you had left it I would have come in tomorrow, but since you are such a jerk-face, I’ll take the week and sleep in late, do some shopping and go to the spa! Ha!

So back to my scheduling drama. As long as my period comes no sooner than this Sunday, my IVF schedule will work. The nurse and I planned it out and with me coming off the progesterone only tomorrow and starting the Lucrin, which also delays your cycle, our plan is totally reasonable. Retrieval and transfer should be the beginning of August. So I am not losing any sleep yet….just waiting. I have no plan B if my period starts earlier than Sunday. So I am praying that will not happen. I am actually praying a later period, Tuesday or Wednesday would give me a huge sigh of relief. However, these things are out of my hands and I am going to hope that luck is on my side.

So that is my scheduling drama for the transfer. However, my next trip is the third week of August, so my pregnancy test will happen while I am out of the country (argh!), so I am going to have to bring HPTs with me and won’t be able to get a proper blood test until I am back, which is the beginning of September. Not the ideal situtation, but unfortunately my reality at the moment. I am fortunately travelling with one of my BFFs and she is a medical doctor, so I am in good hands, and if I need a bit of extra rest she will make space for me. She will also have to give me those horrible progesterone butt shots…we’ll see how much of a BFF she is after that! Ha!

My my my….what a potential mess this could be. But I am going to believe that it will all work out, because feeling calm and positive is such a better place than anxious and negative. Ohhhmmmmmmmm……

Waking up with my babies

This morning I woke up with three little babies inside me.  Good morning sweet little babies that I dream about!   I am still so over the moon at how great this cycle has gone.  However, I am still very aware of the possibilities of it all going terribly wrong…but I am forcing myself to stay very positive and believe that it will happen.  I went to bed before DH last night, to spend some time doing a little meditation about my embryos and visualising them growing.  I am so proud of my little embryos already, they are like little people already in my mind.  I am so proud of their growth, I feel so confident that they are going to keep growing…for the first time I am really seeing my babies.

Ok…maybe I am hallucinating or having some kind of progesterone melt-down.  I am still the hardened VET who knows that anything and everything can go horribly wrong at any point in time.  I just feel like it is my time.  I must believe it.  It can happen, I have seen it with so many others who have tried and failed so many times.  I know that all the negative energy will start seeping in a few days before I test.  I am going to try really hard to keep all those negative feelings at bay and focus on the miracle that we have three amazing embryos back on board.

Today I have three babies.  Today they are all here with me.  Today I am happy and excited for the future.  Today is a good day.  Today I do not have to take a Gestone shot…..pure evil 😉