Well Happy Happy Happy New Year to everyone! May this be an amazing year of great success and good fortune for all of you.
DH and I had a very low-key holiday season for a change and did a lot of reading, watching movies and other general sloth-like behaviour. It was great! We spent lots of time with our furbabies and they really helped pull me our of my Christmas ‘funk’….as they too often do. What would I do without them?
If you are looking for a little escapism, DH and I read all three of ‘The Hunger Games’ books over Christmas and loved every second of it. I know they are busy with the movies and they better not ruin the books…although I hear Lenny Kravitz is playing Cinna, and everyone loves Lenny!
DH and I are unsure of our next IVF. I thought January, but I am just not in that headspace yet. I will most likely do a long protocol again. The last two cycles were our most successful and they were both with long protocol. I am very uncomfortable playing around with our protocol at this stage.
So I am back at work…blech! Why can’t we go back to pioneer days when we all sowed crops and tilled the fields. It sounds so much more interesting and self-sustaining. I guess that would mean our sloth-like tendencies would have to go. Shame….I enjoy a little sloth now and again. Work is dragging as I am trying to pick up my feet and get back into the rythym of actually thinking clearly. Lucky me, I landed back and the first thing they asked me was to put together some statistical reporting…..blech! How dare they ask in January of all months. Don’t they know my mind is like molasses at the moment. Oh well, maybe it will pull some of the cobwebs from my very sleepy head.
Hope you enjoy a picture of one of my furbabies being a sloth. Mind you a very very cute one!
This morning I woke up with three little babies inside me. Good morning sweet little babies that I dream about! I am still so over the moon at how great this cycle has gone. However, I am still very aware of the possibilities of it all going terribly wrong…but I am forcing myself to stay very positive and believe that it will happen. I went to bed before DH last night, to spend some time doing a little meditation about my embryos and visualising them growing. I am so proud of my little embryos already, they are like little people already in my mind. I am so proud of their growth, I feel so confident that they are going to keep growing…for the first time I am really seeing my babies.
Ok…maybe I am hallucinating or having some kind of progesterone melt-down. I am still the hardened VET who knows that anything and everything can go horribly wrong at any point in time. I just feel like it is my time. I must believe it. It can happen, I have seen it with so many others who have tried and failed so many times. I know that all the negative energy will start seeping in a few days before I test. I am going to try really hard to keep all those negative feelings at bay and focus on the miracle that we have three amazing embryos back on board.
Today I have three babies. Today they are all here with me. Today I am happy and excited for the future. Today is a good day. Today I do not have to take a Gestone shot…..pure evil 😉
It is early in the morning and I am still in bed. DH is busy shaving, but not before he brought me a cup of rooibos…sweet, sweet DH. My cat has jumped into bed and snuggled up against me. I am never really sure if it is all love, or just the winter cold making her seek out my heat. I am waiting for Day 1 so I can get started on this cycle. I’ve been on Lucrin for 10 days already, but I never feel like I am in a cycle until we are scanning for follies. I am really focusing on being positive and content. It is so easy to become overwhelmed and anxious. I am using my guided meditations to really slow down and focus on enjoying the moment at least once a day. It has really helped me to spend less energy on worrying and more energy on staying open to opportunity. I love my cat and I love my rooibos tea…oh, and my warm bed. This moment is a happy moment.