Thank you to all of you who have reached out to me in one way or another. Whenever I have experienced these totally devastating moments, it is not the passing ‘sorry’ or ‘thinking of you’ coming from well-intentioned people that carries much meaning to me. It is the ones from women who truly understand the burden of multiple IVFs, multiple loss and miscarriage.
To those ladies who have done cycle after cycle and had so many disappointments. To those who keep getting up after being knocked down so many times. Those who understand the neverending anxiety about all the things that can go wrong…and are proof that things go wrong. Those who find it hard to celebrate any success as devastation is most likely lurking around the corner. Those who have sacrificed vacations, new cars, paying off debt…all the things we work so hard for…to save for one more IVF cycle, always trying to find that next R25,000-R30,000. Those whose DH cries along with them now…as there are no words left, they have all been said. After many, many years, to still keep determined and hopeful of what your end goal is…..it is you who give me hope. I think of you when I don’t want to get out of bed. I think of you when the thought of having another cycle makes me despondent. I think of you when I feel like a failure once more.
We are a very special group. I wish we didn’t have to have a special group, I wish the term ‘IVF Veteran’ had no need, but I am so happy to know that I am not alone in my (what feels like at the moment) endless suffering. That there are others who understand my journey and can relate to everything I mentioned above. It is you that keeps me going, makes me see that there are so many ways to have a family. My time will come, my babies will find me, whatever way they were meant to.